Welcome to my very first entry! I was inspired to write after yet another text interaction earlier today, and thought what better place than here? I feel I ought to apologise in advance that my first post is not a result of the most positive of experiences, but hopefully it will educate and encourage change. So now I will put pen to paper (or rather fingers to keyboard) and write a few notes on something that has been on my mind lately; respect.
As I already mentioned, it was a text message from a potential new client that was the catalyst for me to write this. The text message simply said “u free?” I wish I could say that this is the first time this has happened, and I wish I could say that it is a rare occurrence, but unfortunately I would have to say that perhaps 90 percent of my enquires are of this nature. Most of the time I don’t even bother to respond to them. So why, I hear your mind asking, is this a problem for you? Well let me explain.
While there is no doubt that working in the sex industry comes with a huge stigma in our society, I don’t see why that also means that those that do choose to engage in the offered services think it is okay to be so disrespectful and rude. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, I find it extremely unlikely that if a potential customer wanted to engage the services of say for example a bricklayer, he or she would simply send a text message that said “u free?” Can you imagine the bricklayer replying and asking “free for what” only to have the person respond with “to lay some bricks”. Not only is this message vague and open to interpretation, but it implies that the person offering services has nothing better to do than spend their time enquiring in a long round-about way as to what precisely they are “free” for, and then determine whether this person is someone they would like to be “free” for. (Unless of course said potential customer is asking if the professional comes at no charge, in which case I can say with almost one hundred percent certainty that they do not.)
I can only speak for myself, but when I get an enquiry such as this, a noise similar to that of the bells at the railway crossing sounds in my head and I ensure that I am most definitely not ‘free’ for someone that has so little consideration and respect for another person that they cannot even be bothered to type the entire three letters of the word ‘you’.
A respectful enquiry that will always grab my attention and make me excited to meet with someone might look something like this: “Hi Ally, my name is John and I noticed your profile on Scarlet Blue. I was wondering if perhaps you might be free to meet with me on Friday evening for two hours? I’m flexible with exact timings, but would prefer earlier evening if possible. I’m going to be staying at a hotel in the city and need to be up early the next morning to catch a flight. Let me know if this could work for you. X”
Note the introduction, the clear purpose of the contact, the indication of the service required, and the approximate location. All this information helps us workers to figure out whether or not seeing you is a possibility, and saves time for both the professional AND the client. Most importantly, the fact that this person took a moment to provide this information shows that he is likely a genuine type person with respect for himself as well as me and my time, and this is the type of client I adore meeting with.
In conclusion, demonstrating respect begins the moment you send that first message to an escort. It continues when you meet with them and hand them that envelope that contains payment without them having to prompt your for it. Finally when you write the review of your appointment, keep that respect idea in your mind. Always remember to give sex workers the same respect you would every professional person.
Have a wonderful weekend all you delightful and respectful people, and I promise I am doing the same.